Finally, a female pop singer who gets it. These days, I tend to be extremely jaded when it comes to female pop stars. This past summer left a particularly bad taste in my mouth (or sound in my ears, as the case may be).
Then along comes this little lady named Daya with her first (I think...) single called "Hide Away", which is currently in the Billboard Top 10. The refrain mournfully laments (in a female pop sorta way) the seeming absence of very many good guys from which a poor girl can choose: "Where do the good boys go to hide away, hide away? I'm a good, girl who needs a little company..." I hear ya, Sweetie. Like Daya, many virtuous young ladies lament the lack of virtuous young men in their lives.
Ah, but the verses get even more interesting. They seem to serve as an indictment of both girls and boys for setting low standards both for their own conduct and in their expectations with the opposite sex. The song opens with these words, "Boys seem to like the girls who laugh at anything, The ones who get undressed before the second date." Sadly accurate...and the song goes on: "Girls seem to like the boys who don't appreciate, All the money and the time that it takes, to be fly as a mother." Wait...what did she say? "Fly as a mother."..."Fly as a mother"?...Yes, definitely "Fly as a mother"...twice she says it. When was the last time you heard a pop song in which motherhood is described as "fly"? (For those of you of a certain age, "fly" is a good thing...).
But wait, it's still not over. The second (and last) verse largely echoes the themes of the first verse but adds at the end a further description of the man of her dreams: "Suit and tie cause under cover, He's gonna save my life like superman." Whoa, wait...She is saying the man of her dreams will look like a gentleman and fight for her like a superhero? Seriously, had I myself written the lyrics to a pop song and given it to Daya, I don't think I could have done better. Within a 3 and 1/2 minute pop song, she laments the very condition that most pop songs praise (namely, guys only wanting want thing and girls being willing to give it to them), she holds both buys and girls to a higher standard and suggests that true love is found in waiting and commitment, she makes motherhood sound cool, AND she acknowledges that there is nothing wrong with wanting a guy who will actually come through for her (i.e. like a superhero). Good gosh, why can't they all be like her?!
So often the radio is plagued with insipid songs about girls willing do whatever and guys who expect them to do whatever....and everyone wonders why we are so jaded about love. Here is a girl who is on to something: namely that true love isn't found in fleeting flirtations and sensual seductions, but instead is found in life-long commitment.
Furthermore, her commentary on womanhood is also very telling. She recognizes that part of the beauty in womanhood is found in motherhood and that as a woman motherhood is nothing to be ashamed of but indeed is an integral and beautiful part of what makes her a woman and that any guy worth her time had darn well better recognize that.
Also, while rejecting the need for any man's fleeting attention, she praises the idea of expecting the man in her life to come through for her. In this day and age, the idea of a woman expecting a man to come through for her is seen a sign of weakness (not unlike motherhood). Yet Daya expresses this sentiment as a normal, healthy, beautiful desire for any young lady to have. Sadly, so many women have given up on men coming through for them because....well they just don't. Instead, they tend to be the other type that she sings about, the kind who only want one thing from women.
Yes Daya, you're right. You deserve better. As does every other woman out there.
Pax Vobiscum
