"The Way that the Mystics See"

These are the lyrics to my first full-length rap song. If I ever get around to recording it, I will post a link to it. In the meantime, enjoy the lyrics...

The Way that the Mystics See

by

Anthony Cusack

Refrain:

I’ve been going through my life so nihilistically

And this lust is eating at me so sadistically

And I don’t mean to put it too simplistically

But I just want to see the way that the mystics see

Verse 1:

He wakes up

He hates the crosses that he takes up

The losses that he gave up

The walls that he caved up

The love that he saved up

But never gave away

He goes back to the day

When he stood in his dad’s way

Because he couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t stay

While his mom cries away another day

So he goes through his life scared, cold, and bereft 

He can’t stand grieving over his dad’s leaving

So he tries to fill up the hole that he left

He turns to women, he’s swimming in drugs and in gin and in porn

Cursing the day he was born, heart’s torn

Anything to stop the crave

For the love that his dad never gave

He sits in his man cave

And waits to get hit by the next wave

Repeat Refrain

Verse 2

So he falls to his knees

And he begs God, “Please!

My soul is filled with disease

And with lust but I must confess

That I mistrust the best in me

And despite my unrest and distress

I just can’t seem to shake all the hurt and regret

I feel like a pervert I’m set in my ways

This is more than a phase

My heart’s in a fight, in a haze 

Sleepless are my nights and dark are my days.

I can’t stop this lusting, But I’m trusting 

You’ll give me the strength that I need

To proceed and release me

From all of this unceasing

Stress and depression

I’m done with this guessing

And filling this hole in my soul

With these things that entice me

I don’t know what love is precisely

But if you can show me

I know you don’t owe me a thing

But I can’t take the sting from my heart

So I’m asking you now to replace

All this pain with your grace and your love

And your peace from above

Repeat Refrain

Verse 3

Now he gives up his ways

And his life starts to change

But its strange

Because he still feels crazy and deranged

Whenever he walks by a girl

And his head’s in a whirl

Because he wants to go back to his old ways

His head’s in a daze

So he turns away and blocks his face

All he feels is shame and disgrace

He sees sex as perverse

And his feelings a curse

“Please God help me to see what you see

and to be the man and the son that you made me to be”

So he prays and he prays

Morning, noon, nights and days

Till he wakes up and sees

God above, God of love 

On the cross, paid the cost

Till He saved what was lost

And the love of the groom for his bride

Manifest, cannot hide

Now he sees with the sight to behold 

The picture of love that unfolds 

2nd Refrain

I was going through my life so nihilistically

And the lust was eating at me so sadistically

And I don’t mean to put it too simplistically

But this must be the way that the mystics see

Movie Commentary: Guardians of the Galaxy

Perhaps the biggest breakout hit of the summer, Guardians of the Galaxy is about a team of very unlikely heroes. Contrasted with the Avengers, for example, these individuals are not already heroes when they meet each. Quite the contrary, they are actually rather unsavory: thieves, assassins, bounty-hunters, etc. And they start out at the beginning of the movie with their own largely self-motivated agenda. What brings this very strange and very unlikely group to rise to the occasion and become more than they were at the beginning of the movie is a common cause in the face of a very real threat. Thousands of people will die, if the villains are left unchallenged. This causes them to rise above their selfishness and become the heroes that we the viewers know they are destined to be. (Spoiler alert) And as Christ uses the wood of the cross to sacrifice Himself to save the world, one character goes so far as to sacrifice himself to save others, even using his own wood readily at his disposal. 

This is what a life rooted in God looks like. God takes us where we are at, with all of our sins, faults, and weaknesses; but He loves us too much to let us stay that way. He gives us a meaning, a purpose for living that goes to the very core of our identity and that calls us out of our own selfish world of immediate gratification. We can choose to stay in that selfish world, but the threat of evil is very real and thousands upon thousands of lives are at stake. God calls us out of ourselves to rise to the occasion and become the heroes we are destined to be. We were made for so much more than pleasure and comfort. We were made for more than sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll. By letting go of our own selfishness and saying "yes" to God's plan for our lives, we become who we are really meant to be. We become fellow guardians of the galaxy that God has given us.

Our Lady of Sorrows

Today is the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, one of my all-time favorite titles for Our Lady. My deep affection for Our Lady of Sorrows stems from the profound beauty with which it bespeaks of the unique love and strength of all women, but certainly in Mary most perfectly, as she is the perfect woman.

Mary's great "Yes" to God, in contrast with Eve's great "No", and her openness to God and His Love
leave her extremely vulnerable. By opening herself to God's will, she in turns opens herself to a whole world of pain. As Simeon predicts to her in one of the options for today's Gospel Reading, "And you yourself a sword will pierce". As incomprehensibly heart-wrenching as it would be for any mother to witness her own child being crucified before her eyes, Mary's suffering is all the greater because her love is that much greater. Our natural, human love is weakened by sin, because sin is the very opposite of love. But Mary, who is without sin, loves that much more perfectly. Unfortunately, the ability to love deeply comes with it the ability to feel pain deeply.

As St. Bernard says in today's Office of Readings, "Perhaps someone will say: 'Had she not known before that he would die?' Undoubtedly. 'Did she not expect him to rise again at once?' Surely.
'And still she grieved over her crucified Son?' Intensely. Who are you and what is the source of your wisdom that you are more surprised at the compassion of Mary than at the passion of Mary's Son? For if he could die in body, could she not die with him in spirit? He died in body through a love greater than anyone had known. She died in spirit through a love unlike any other since his."

But it is precisely this love that makes her so strong. Where all the apostles (except John) had turn and fled like cowards, Mary and the other women with her stood by Christ as He suffered, no matter how painful it was. Thus Mary becomes the perfect model for all woman. In contrast to the grasping, controlling self-assertion of Eve's "No", Mary embodies perfect openness and surrender to God's love, which along with her great sorrow brings eternal life into the whole world, making her the perfect mother and the perfect woman.

By opening herself to God, Our Lady opens herself to Sorrow. And by opening herself to Sorrow, she gives birth to us, her children and God's. How great is her sorrow. How great is her love. How great is this Mother.

Pax Vobiscum

"Adoration"

Enraptured in the deepest satisfaction
My heart is en-captured by the purest attraction
To the greenest of pastures He led me
By the stillest of waters He fed me
To the fairest of daughters He wed me
Like a lamb to the slaughter, He bled for me
Till He was dead for me.

Movie Commentary: Noah (Spoilers)

Of the many religiously-themed movies to come out so far this year, the most controversial one by far is Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, starring Russell Crowe in the titular role. It has been both highly praised and emphatically condemned by Christians,  both Catholic and non-Catholic alike. And of all opinions to not particularly matter, mine would certainly be foremost; but then what’s the point of having a blog, after all? That said, I’ll cut right to the chase: I pretty much loved Noah. I certainly do not love everything about it. It is not a perfect movie, and its theology is not perfect. But then again, when was the last time you saw a movie that met either criteria? I find many of the complaints leveled against the movie to be largely unfair; however, since these issues have already been addressed by minds infinitely more competent than my own, I would only like to draw attention to one of the many positive themes in the movie (For a detailed analysis of the complaints commonly made against the movie, I would direct people to Stephen Greydanus' excellent article on the subject at http://decentfilms.com/articles/noah-controversy .)

The concept of Original Sin is actually taken quite seriously in this movie. So much so that Noah, recognizing that sin is present within himself and each of the members of his family, concludes that they are no more worthy to survive the flood than is the rest of humanity. Therefore, Noah is convinced that it is God's will that he and is family die out without reproducing any further human beings. In other words, humanity is so corrupted that God, according to Noah, wants to revert back to the way things were in the Garden of Eden prior to the entrance of evil into the world, which is to say prior to man's existence.

Things however get complicated when Noah realizes that his son Shem's wife, thought to be barren, is in fact pregnant (in the movie Shem is the only son to have a wife, one of the few overt departures from the Biblical text but one I am inclined to forgive since it leads to interesting theological issues without doing any major injustice to its source). So convinced is Noah that all of humanity is too far gone that he believes that God wants him to kill the baby, in order to ensure that humanity does not continues to propagate. Now on the one hand, it is all too easy for us with our modern sensibilities to scoff at the idea that God would want Noah to kill his own grandchild; but on the other hand, Noah is earnestly seeking God's will so far as he understands it, and he understands that God is wiping out the rest of humanity because of it's sin. But again, if sin is also present in Noah and his family, it not at least possible that God wants them to ultimately die off as well? The situation also harkens back (well..."back" for us, for Noah it would be more like a foreshadowing) to God asking Abraham to sacrifice his own son.

What ends up happening (spoiler alert) is that Shem's wife gives birth to twins, and Noah is fully prepared to kill them both. When it comes to the crucial moment however, Noah, with knife raised in mid-air and everything, can't bring himself to do it. This leads to him sinking into a drunken depression because he is convinced that he has failed God. That is until his daughter-in-law (Emma Watson) sets him straight. She tells Noah that God placed the decision of humanity's fate in Noah's hands precisely because He knew that Noah would make the right choice. Noah decided, she goes on to say, that humanity was worth saving. "You chose mercy, you chose love." The movie ends with Noah repeating the words of the creation story, that man is made in God's image and that humanity must "be fruitful and multiply."

So here's the bottom line. For all it's accusations of being anti-human and radically environmentalist. the central drama of the movie is whether or not humanity is worth saving. And Noah decides that it is. In other words, love and mercy end up trumping strict, rigid justice -a sentiment that foreshadows humanity's ultimate salvation at the hands of Our Lord Jesus Christ, And like Our Lord, Noah decides that despite our sinfulness, humanity is worth saving.

Despite it's flaws, I found Noah to be both entertaining and theologically challenging.  In this day and age, a movie that uses a biblical story to demonstrate the relationship between the reality of sin and the love and mercy of God deserves to be taken seriously.

Pax Vobiscum

Countdown to Ordination: The Chalice

I have officially been blessed with inheriting a chalice that I can now claim as my own, upon entering my final year in the seminary. The chalice holds a very special place in the heart of the priest, for it is in this very cup that he is blessed to hold ordinary wine and consecrate it into the Blood of Christ Himself.

On the bottom of my chalice is inscribed the name of the priest that it originally belonged to: "Rev. John P. Welsh, ordained May 25, 1922" It is profoundly moving to think that across the decades of time, Fr. Welsh and I will be united by the same chalice and more importantly by the same Blood of Christ. It is also a testament to the timelessness of the Mass and of the noble calling to the priesthood. Fr. Welsh and I may be ordained 93 years apart, but we will always share the same chalice, the same calling, and the same Lord.

It is important for the priest especially to unite himself to the image of Christ's Blood. For it is by spilling his blood that Christ accomplishes the work of our salvation. In the Sacrifice of the Mass, the priest, standing in the person of Christ at the altar, is united to the Sacrifice of Calvary.The same Blood that Christ pours out for the world is the same Blood that the priest (that I myself, God willing) holds in his chalice. And as Christ lays down his life for the salvation of His flock, the priest must lay down his life for the sake of the flock that Christ entrusts to him.

When Jesus is anticipating His sacrifice in the Garden of Gethsemane, He says to His Heavenly Father, "Take this cup away from me", before saying, "Thy will be done." I am ashamed to think of how much of my life I have spent saying to God, "Take this cup away from me." As my ordination date draws ever closer, it is only with the grace and strength of Christ that I can say, "Thy will be done." May He continue to give me that grace and strength until the day that I meet Him face to face. It is with overwhelming gratitude and a deep sense of my unworthiness that I look forward to drinking from the cup of Our Lord.

Pax Vobiscum

Music Commentary: "All of Me" by John Legend

John Legend's "All of Me" is one of those songs that makes the hearts of teenage girls everywhere go all a-flutter and that a male in his late twenties who happens to be studying for the priesthood probably shouldn't admit that he likes (and so I won't). I do, however, believe that there is a good reason why this song has become so popular. The sentiment that it expresses in the refrain is one that resonates deep within the heart and soul of every living person, both man and woman alike: "All of me loves all of you...Give your all to me, I give my all to you.". Cliched as it may sound, the reason why this simple phrase rings true is that no one wants to be loved half-heartedly. No one wants to be loved partially or temporarily or only when it is convenient.

Unfortunately, this second type of "love" is exactly what we see when we take a look at the world around us. The reason for this is that we as a culture have confused physical intimacy with love. In the sexual act, we are saying with our bodies. "I give you all of myself." This however is quite simply not true when the sexual act is removed from the context of marriage, for it is only in marriage that a man and a woman really do promise to give themselves entirely to each other. Outside of this reality, the sexual act becomes a lie. We say with our bodies, "I give you all of myself", when in fact there is no such intention, which becomes obvious when sexually intimate relationships come to an end and the result is a deep sense of hurt and betrayal. The love that felt so complete physically ended up being partial and fleeting in reality.

This sense of incomplete self-giving also comes into play when contraception is involved. Contraception blocks the unity of the man and woman from coming to it's natural completion.
The message behind the use of contraception is essentially, "I give my all to you...except THAT part."
This is especially true in the case of a man who requires a woman to take the pill in order for them to be intimate. He is essentially saying, "You need to suppress and control your body as a woman in order for us to be intimate." This is hardly the same sentiment as "All of me loves all of you."

The reason that the Church teaches what it does about sexuality is not because it's harsh, old-fashioned, or up-tight. The Church, by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, knows that partial, half-hearted, incomplete
"love" will not make us truly happy. We are made for something more: namely a deep, meaningful, and lasting relationship. John Legend gets it, I don't know why the rest of the world doesn't...

Movie Commentary: X-Men: Days of Future Past

The latest installment of the X-Men movie franchise, of which I consider myself to be a long-standing fan, comes rolling in like a breath of fresh air. After the abysmal disappointment that was X-Men: The Last Stand, followed by the refreshingly exciting "reboot" that was X-Men: First Class, Brian Singer, director of the first two X-Men movies, returns to form by brilliantly combining the cast of the original X-Men movies with that of First Class, uniting them by way of one of the best-known story-lines from the comics. The result is a brilliant, bold, and truly original addition to the franchise, as well as to comic book movies in general.

The movie begins in a dystopian future in which mutants are almost extinct, due to a government-sponsored army of giant robots, (called Sentinels, familiar to fans of the comics) programmed to target and destroy all living mutants. Wolverine is sent back in time, by means of the mutant powers of Ellen Page's Kitty Pride, with the task of stopping Mystique from committing an atrocity which will set the events leading to the construction of the Sentinels in motion. To that end, Wolverine must first enlist the help of young Charles Xavier, as well as young Magneto.

What makes the movie so successful is precisely where "X3" failed so miserably: its characters.
Pivotal moments in the movie come down to the choices that the characters make, particularly moral choices. In the comic book version of this story, everything comes down to physically stopping Mystique. In the movie, it comes down to whether or not Mystique herself chooses to give in to hate.

Another character whose given new complexity is young Professor X himself. When Wolverine first finds him, he is hardly the fearless leader that Wolverine knows him to be. Instead, he is depressed and reclusive, routinely taking a drug that inhibits his mutant powers but allows him the use of his legs. We find that the reason he takes this drug is that his powers have become more than he can handle - the ability to read everyone's mind apparently carries with it the ability to feel everyone's pain. The situation provides a moving role reversal in the relationship between Professor X and Wolverine: Wolverine must offer hope and guidance to the very man who did the same for him.

Ultimately it's Professor X himself who convinces his younger self to rise to the occasion. (Yes, Professor X in the future has a conversation with Professor X in the past...it's complicated but it works.)
Young Xavier expresses to his older self how unbearable the weight of feeling everyone else's pain is, a moment that harkens back to Christ Himself bearing the weight of the whole world's sufferings. And of course, like Our Lord, young Xavier chooses to bear that pain for the sake of everyone else.

Young Professor X's situation plays as a vivid metaphor for real life. True, authentic love requires pain and sacrifice. Sometimes it seems easier to give up and indulge ourselves in whatever drug will numb the pain. But the world does not need despair and self-indulgence but hope and love that expresses itself in self-sacrifice. Like Professor X and Mystique, we are faced with choices that have consequences. Will we give in to anger, hate, and despair? Or do we dare to choose hope and Love? It all depends on the kind of world we want to live in.